


Regret

by Dopple_Girl



Series: Deceit’s Aftermath [4]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Mentions of Deceit - Freeform, Post-Video: Can LYING Be Good??, comfort fic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-28 23:06:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13914069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dopple_Girl/pseuds/Dopple_Girl
Summary: Blind in productions to see the truthBlind by frustrations to see the truthLetting one be taken in by blissLetting one hurting slip through his fingers.Let the pain be your indicator.





	Regret

**Author's Note:**

> Part Four of ~~Five~~ Four! Finally! I loved doing this little project, and I really hope to do more Sander Sides in the future. Plus exploring ~~almost~~ all the sides reactions Post: Can Lying Be Good? was a lot of fun. So, without further ado, Roman!!

He was dancing to no music. Moving the balls of the balls of his feet in a rhythmic way: back and forth, side to side. Each placement of his feet was with purpose. Hands, curled up into fists, were up protective of his face and body. Etched into his face was a hybrid of concentration and frustration. Though, not all of it was focused on the punching bag in front of him.

After all, Roman wasn’t just a actor. He was a fighter. 

He threw his left fist out, hitting the bag about waist height. The bag swung back like a person getting the wind getting the wind getting knocked out of them. His right hand went out wide, making contact right at eye level. He could practically see the black eye forming over his snaky little face. Punch after punch he bombarded the bag; the image of Deceit popping up every time. Oh how he wished he could drive the little trickster into the ground.

But he couldn’t. He didn’t posses the power. Every time the side opened his mouth, lies spilled form his lips and feed into his ego. He was virtually useless, believing the lies every single time the two came into contact. It irked him. And then he took Patton’s place, stood where he stood, and he despised it. Deceit pushed of all of the wrong buttons on Roman, and if he was able to do anything about it, there would be no hesitation on his end.

He let his sword appear in his hand. Shiny and sliver in the way it reflected the light, he didn’t waste the usual time admiring his reflection. Instead he gripped it tight, and already bruised knuckles began to turn white. He slashed at the bag in front of him like he was stabbing Caesar himself. Blood leaking through the cuts was easy to imagine as he poured everything into each blade swing.

He doesn’t remember when he did, but eventually he collapsed where he stood, allowing the sword to dissipate in his hands. Roman was tired in all senses of the word: physically from exerting himself too much, mentally exhausted from all what ifs, emotionally strained from all the events that have come … crashing into his life all at once. It was simply too much.

He still had anger pent up inside him; there were still negative emotions left to be vanquished. Slowly he once more made himself stand. After setting himself up in the correct stance, he threw his elbow back thinking he’d hit the punching bag. Instead, his momentum was suddenly stopped by a hand wrapping itself around his elbow. Roman flinched on instinct; there was no way to tell who was holding onto him. He only relaxed when other side spoke.

“You’re lucky I have good reflexes.” Virgil said, and Roman had to turn his head to double check it was Anxiety. When that much was certain, he pulled his arm away from the other. The punching bag vanished, as he held no use for it anymore.

“What are you doing here, Mr. All the Time Low?” Roman quickly quipped back, hoping to disguise the frustration that laced his tone. But what use was that? This was Virgil. The one who understood it was Deceit in Patton’s skin. The side was acutely aware of any and all emotions in a given setting.

“Patton wanted me to check on you.” Roman finally turned around to face Virgil. The latter’s expression was relaxed, while the former squinted to see if the sentence was a lie. Usually he wouldn’t put it into question, but Deceit has rattled all of them. He wanted to make sure there was no wool over his eyes. 

“Really? Patton made you his messenger boy?”

”Yeah. He knew you were sparring and said he wanted to check on you but after the last incident he wasn’t getting involved. I assume it involved blood, since you how squeamish Patton gets. Anyways, eenie meenie mini mo and I was it. What’s got you all jumpy, Romano?” Roman’s guard dropped, knowing it was Anxiety that rolled with the less than flattering nickname. The other seemed to understand Roman’s tensions.

”Deceit.” He replied simply. Virgil nodded as he tossed something at Roman. Roman caught it, and opened his hand to reveal a roll of bandages.

”I had some spare ones in my room. Figured you might need them.” Anxiety shrugged, placing more space between the two sides. Roman didn’t reply, just made work at his hands silently. His thoughts began to wander, but he always made it a point to focus back on his wounds. Dwelling on Virgil’s involvement in the grand scheme of things wasn’t going to help.

”Is there another reason you’re here?” Roman suddenly asked. Virgil didn’t say anything right away; he was so quiet Roman had to look up from his bandages to confirm the other side was still in the room. “Virgil?”

”I wanted to make sure Deceit didn’t unhinge anyone too much.” He blurted out not a moment later. “And I wanted to let you know I understand ... what you’re dealing with. I just didn’t know how to approach it without another reason.”

”You don’t understand, though.” Roman stated, dropping the leftover bandages onto the floor as he finished. “You don’t understand anything about what the rest of us are going through.”

”I don’t understand what? What it feels like to put my trust in Deceit all because I like the sound of his lies? What it feels like to not see past his manipulation and see the effect he was having on me? What it feels like to be used as a puppet, for my own words to not be mine and watch helplessly as he did what he pleased with me? Because I’ve been there, done that, starred in the movie, Roman. So tell me, what is it that I don’t understand?”

Roman had to take a step a back, and needed a minute to fully comprehend what Anxiety had told him. He had a feeling Deceit and him had a past: seeing through “Patton’s” facade so easily required at least some prior knowledge of Deceit’s bag of tricks. To be so heavily wrapped up in the schemes of the Dark Side was something Roman found hard to imagine. While it was annoying, Anxiety wasn’t hindering to Thomas’s morals. So what motivation did the other side have for diving down such a deep rabbit hole, and how was he able to climb back out? 

”I wasn’t an original side.” Virgil muttered, bringing Roman back down from his thoughts. His head shot up to look at Virgil, who had started to recoil back into himself.

”What?”

”In the original video, where Thomas introduced you guys to the world. I wasn’t there. I wasn’t part of Thomas’s personality, not yet at least. Where do you think I was all that time?” Roman didn’t have time to respond before Virgil laughed. A sound he hasn’t heard in a while, but not one he liked to hear in this context. “I think I’ve humored you enough.”

And like that, Anxiety was gone. 

-

”Either if you know where Jack Sulkington went?” Roman asked the other sides. Logan was playing with a Rubix Cube, one he’s probably solved hundreds of times by now, while Patton opted to play with some of his many stuffed animals.

”Am I correct to assume you mean Virgil?” Logan asked, purely for clarification. Roman nodded. “Ah yes. I believe in moments like this, he prefers to hide in his room and listen to pop punk music with his headphones.”

”Thanks, Logan.” Roman shut his eyes to leave, but before disappearing, Patton grabbed his arm. 

”Let us come with you.” He said. “I want to make sure he’s okay.”

”As do I.” Logan added. “Although, I’m assuming the discussion you had in you room, Roman, has opened up Virgil to possibly answering some questions about ... past experiences.”

”I don’t know if this is the best idea.” Roman said, choosing to look at Logan and not at Patton’s puppy dog eyes. 

”If we wish to be better prepared to deal with Deceit, or another Dark Side for that matter, than we must have all possible information at our disposable.”

”Friends don’t lie.” Patton added. 

”Alright, Fine.” Roman finally agreed. “But how dare you use Eleven against me. Let’s just ... get this over with.” 

The three promptly arrived in Virgil’s room, and Roman promptly shuddered. Memories from the last time he entered this room came back into the spotlight, and he was glad the others had begged him to come with him. It was exactly as he remembered. 

”What are you guys doing here?” Virgil asked from where he was in his usual spot. “Please tell me it’s not an intervention.”

”We just ... don’t like the secrets you’re keeping from us.” Patton started, slowly making his way toward Virgil. 

”About?”

”Deceit.” Logan replied. “We want to be better equipped to deal with another threat to Thomas when the opportunity arises. And your reluctance to share your experience prevents us from doing so.”

”I don’t know guys.” Virgil said, shying away from an approaching Morality.

”We’re not asking you to share it right away.” Roman rephrased, flashing a soft smile as he did so. “We just want to know if it when you’re ready to tell us, we’ll be here. We’re family after all.” The room was silent after the words were spoken; Virgil was eventually the one to break it. 

”Thank you guys. And ... and I think I’m ready.” The others found seats on the floor around Virgil, doing their best to make Anxiety feel comfortable. Patton took his hand, squeezing a little in reassurance.

”Take your time, kiddo.” Virgil took a deep breath, before beginning. 

”Story time.”


End file.
